Fun | Sacramento Real Estate

Archive for the ‘Fun’ Category

How To Make Sure Other Agents Won’t Show Your Listing

I was going to write a little post about a local subdivision in East Sacramento, but I got distracted while I was checking out the active listings in that subdivision by some “Agent Only Remarks”. For those of you who haven’t seen agent only remarks, they’re about three lines of information that are just like what sound they sound like — meant for the agent only. Usually there’s nothing sinister about them. They simply contain information about how to show the home or what terms the seller’s looking for, or sometimes disclosures that you need to provide to your buyer.

Sometimes, as was the case today when I got distracted, agent only remarks can be used to make sure an otherwise fairly decent home get ignored as much as possible. Here are what the agent remarks said in one listing I saw:

Restricted hours to show. MUST HAVE AN APPOINTMENT – NO DROP-Bys.NO showings between 12pm – 3pm DAILY. No showings prior to 4pm on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.Short sale: all terms and conditions, including commission, subject to current lenders acceptance. Andy [sic] reduction in commission split 50/50.

Wow, I didn’t know you could fit that much discouragement into such a small space. Let’s see. It’s a pain in the butt to show because the available showing times read like a drunken English professor’s office hours. It’s unlikely to sell because it’s a short sale. And finally — like a stale cherry on this diet dessert — once we do sell, as in most short sales, we’re already talking about how we’re going to divide up what we don’t get paid.

Fortunately, the listing agent didn’t just rely on the discouragement of real estate agents to get the home to expire. He was also thoughtful enough to include several underexposed interior photos to make the home look dark and uninviting.

Next!

By the way, who’s Andy?

Star Trek Exhibition at The California Air And Space Musuem

Today I took my daughter over to McLellan Air Force Base in North Highlands to visit the California Air And Space Museum. If you haven’t been out to the Star Trek exhibit there and you have a touch of geek in you (not that anyone on the Internet would fit in that category, mind you), you should definitely get over there. You can walk through the guardian of forever or have a picture of yourself taken in the captain’s chair. There’s your beloved real estate broker even as we speak playing Captain, with my daughter in the role of Lieutenant Uhura.

Bolding sitting around in a Hawaiian shirt.

One definite disappointment however was that they didn’t allow photography in the exhibit, lest anyone take photos that cost significantly less than what they were charging. However, a camera is still worth toting along so you can take snapshots of other parts of the museum where photography is allowed. You don’t want to miss your chance to take a picture of a Titan rocket after all, do you? I didn’t think so.

If Sacramento has a downside, ít’s that it’s not well known for having lots of cultural attractions. Indeed, one of the interesting things about Sacramento is that when you ask them what there is to do here, we often reply “well, we’re close to San Francisco and Lake Tahoe.” But that said, every once in awhile you uncover a gem of a place.

I found out about the exhibit by chatting up the check out clerk in the supermarket the other day. You wouldn’t think by reading me that it pays to be verbose, but sometimes you get lucky.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Sacramento Real Estate Blog: A Social Media Late Bloomer

It’s been difficult to fit any Real Estate Blogging into my little schedule this week, between two jobs, chatting with friends in other countries, pilates, other exercise, and trying to sleep a bit. Once upon a time to blog here religiously every day – of course that was before one job and the rest of it started to come together.

“Keepin’ ya busy?” Yep.

One other thing that I find impinging on my time is something I thought would never matter: Twitter. OK, let’s face it, I’m still not sure if it matters, but I let it impinge on my time anyway

I am finally starting to understand Twitter. The reason I didn’t really understand it before is that I kept thinking of it as where the content goes – and of course, from a content perspective, it’s a disaster. To put it in terms that probably won’t show up on an S.A.T. exam any time soon, “Content is to 140 characters as a full course meal is to a piece of corn stuck between your teeth.”

Twitter isn’t about content. Twitter is how many people follow you.

Ok, ok, before you get out the flame throwers, let me back up from this stark and cynical position and say some kind words about Twitter, in case it isn’t just purely a popularity contest.

Twitter is about:

Practicing kindness and generosity on relative strangers. You can say that’s from a Buddhist perspective, or say it’s from a Real Estate Sales Perspective. Time will tell.
Tweet-ups, wherein real people actually meet each other face to face. I haven’t been to one yet. See the litany of time constraints, above.
Chatting pleasantly.
And oh yes, how many people follow you.

I was away from Twitter after barely setting up an account for several years, and was surprised to find almost 200 followers, presumably from RSS feeds from this and other blogs. This started me on the relentless pursuit of more followers. Ready, set, go man go.

How to win Followers on Twitter…

(… as told by someone who has a very small number himself, especially in Realtor® terms. Realtors® love a popularity contest.)

Be nice. Of course, if what’s-her-name drops by you can be rude, but generally, be nice.
Mention others constantly. Make lists, to be able to tell others you added them.
Be interesting? Not sure that matters, unless you have a TON of time to devote to that approach.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

So Twitter doesn’t matter much. But remember, we shouldn’t get so caught up in what matters to us most that we neglect to spend time on that which is truly insignificant.

And with this in mind: follow me on Twiter.

Sacramento Who?

Hi folks. Remember me?

No, really, I’m hurt! I’m the guy who started this blog, way back in the fabulous sixties. You remember, Bob Dylan, Gilligan’s Island…

No, sorry, I’m confabulating a bit. I guess I started this blog in 2002 or thereabouts, but for the last year, Purva Brown has been doing such a bang up job of keeping you informed about real estate happenings in and around Sacramento that that’s freed me up to pursue a different day job, in my old world of software development. You know, twiddling bits and bobbing for booleans. True or false: “Programmers love booleans.”

Earlier this week, right before Christmas, Purva was involved in a more crucial labor, giving birth to a totally cute little boy. Now I’m no journalist, but I can copy and paste from the official Facebook announcement as well as the next guy:

Hucksley James Brown was born 2:08am on Dec 20th. Weighs 8 pounds 12 oz. and is 21.5 inches long.

Well, by golly, congratulations Purva and James (Purva’s husband, who gets a middle name credit as you can plainly see).

I’m not going to go posting cute photos even though trust me this kid looks fantastic peeking out of a Christmas stocking.

Pretty great news, huh?

It looks like Purva’s already done the real estate market update for all the counties, but what I thought I’d do is to put together a sort of emeritus post on the Sacramento numbers. Many of you will recognize “emeritus” as the Latin word for an old guy who used to know what he was doing but then went senile. Saying it in English is just to cruel. That’s what Latin’s for.

Q. E. D.

The Life (and death) of an Offer

The life of an offer really begins when a home buyer says, mostly to him or her self, “I want that house.” The next thought usually is, “Oh no, now I’m really in deep.” When the home buyer recovers, his Realtor® is standing there usually ready with approximately a dozen pages and a pen in her hand. (These days, it’s more a laptop and some printed sheets, but what the heck. The old fashioned pen in hand is a better metaphor.) The home buyer regains some co-ordination control, signs, hands the Realtor® a check and begins to pray.

But then what happens? Most home buyers, after waiting nervously by the phone for three days, hear back from their Realtor®. It’s either a “yes” or a “no” but mostly a “maybe.” So how do these responses come about? What is the process by which an offer either grows up and becomes an adult escrow or meets an untimely and sad death?

Love me or Change me!

Offers make pretty good adolescents. They are written in the youthful hope of getting accepted just as they are – one-sided and all. Full of idealism, they are created by the home buyers in the wish that the seller will settle to sell the house to them for 25% less than asking and wait patiently while the loan process works itself out. Maybe the home buyers could move in early and get a feel for the place. Maybe the seller could even repaint the house for them. That color in the master bedroom just doesn’t do it. (I know, I exaggerate. Most home buyers are not this hopeful.)

Anyway, whatever it is that the home buyer wants gets written in and signed. The Realtor® then calls the listing agent and lets him know that an offer is on its way. Most of us now like our home faxes. “Send it over!” the listing agent says excitedly, secretly hoping the buyers love the home, have paid over asking price and are ready to pay cash and move in within ten days. (Hey, no one said there aren’t crazy expectations on both sides!)

The Painful Growth

The reality of course is that the offer falls somewhere in between what both parties want. The sellers usually like the down payment but not the offer price. The buyers love the house but know that it will take a little work to get it looking like something they own and can adore. Adjustments are hard. The seller’s Realtor® (the listing agent) looks at it critically and takes it over to the sellers. While it is not the dream they were hoping for, the sellers do realize this is nonetheless a serious offer and one they can work with. They decide to counter it.

Is this the End?

Technically, when you “counter” an offer or write a counter-offer, the first one is considered dead. Which means the sellers cannot now go back and say they would like to take the original offer to escrow. However, I like to think of a counter as the maturing of an offer. The counter heads on over to the buyer’s agent over the fax again and the home buyers are finally glad to hear back from their Realtor®. They were getting tired of being excited each time the phone rang. “We have a counter,” she says. “The sellers like everything but…”

The “Everything, But…”

The counter is usually the “everything, but…” offer. And I like that, most people do, because it identifies problem areas, deal breakers, and usually the counter offers are really where escrows are made. They are the sticky areas but also general and specific things buyers and sellers eventually concede. Counters are the peacemakers, as opposed to first offers. It’s unlikely there are more than two counter offers in an escrow. I once had an almost-escrow with four counter offers, the last one asked for $500 more. At that point, you can tell no property is exchanging hands. Most reasonable home buyers and sellers will reach a conclusion with one or two counter offers.

Yes, we have a Deal!

Eventually, the “everything but” clause is worked out and both parties reach an agreement. The offer has matured and it makes a wonderful escrow. Both parties sign all documents and the offer, ready to meet the world and hold its own, is sent to a title company where every word in it is pored over and followed. The offer is now a legal document and any changes to it require the approval of both parties.

The 30 – 60 day life of an offer, albeit short, is an important one. It marks the transition between home buyer and homeowner (and a homeowner to beach / golf course retiree, perhaps?) And it shows, in however small a way, that sometimes two parties can agree for the greater good of both. And isn’t that what all business is about anyway?

Best (Definitely) Real Estate (Tenuously) Statistics All Year!

21" long.

7 lbs 9 oz.

Sierra Brown was born Thursday, August 14th, 2008 at 3:45 AM. Congratulations and we can’t wait to see the gorgeous new bundle of joy! Sierra and her mom (AKA Sacramento Real Estate Gal, Purva Brown), are doing fine. Congratulations Purva and James!

Landscaping, gardening? Those must be the lame, pre-labor, post-to-future articles. OK, so they’re not that lame, the point is:

We want pictures.

Oh well, good things come to those who wait.

My New Friend in Toronto

I have a new friend in Toronto, Andrew LaFleur.

Andrew was good enough to give me a blog roll link and he sent me a nice note. He’s the author of two blogs. In one, he focuses primarily on New Condos in Toronto. I hope that’s going well — I know the whole preconstruction condo thing here became somewhat emblematic of the market downturn. But the thing about the Canadians is — well, who knows? They have their own country up their and everything. So again, I hope things are going well, since Andrew LaFleur is my new friend in Toronto.

Andrew also blogs about Toronto real estate on BlogTo, and you have to go check out this post on a home that’s not in Brooklyn, but instead is the smallest house in Toronto. This is pretty cool!

I wonder where the smallest house in Sacramento is. I’ll have to go searching…

Sacramento State Fair Starts Tomorrow

I was hoping to find a Youtube video about this year’s California State Fair in Sacramento, but what I happened upon instead was the clip above from an earlier State Fair with Wierd Al living in an Amish Paradise.

I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

The State Fair will be happening from August 15th to September 1st. For more details and prices, check out the State Fair web site.

And here’s a State Fair Video you can watch from the Sac Bee. The Bee tells us the Fair this year faces hot weather and a cool economy. Well, the economy part is a bit beyond our control, but as a tip to the Fair people: you always face hot weather. If you held the Fair in October you’d have better results!

Your friend,

John Lockwood

Realtor® & Weather Consultant

Public Demands New Bubble To Invest In

Well, if you’re tired of the bad news in the Housing Market — can you say Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae taxpayer bailout — following on the heels of the earlier bad news in the Tech sector, and living in a sort of grim Coca-Cola harmony with bad news of Global Warming, gas prices, and whatever else we’re scared witless about this week, you might enjoy The Onion’s recent parody, “Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In”:

“What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future,” said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. “We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution.”

Johnstradamus Real Estate and Other Predictions for Summer

Well, it’s almost the end of the month. As most of you know, sometime around the third of July or thereabouts, it’ll be time to take a look back at June and give you a bunch of Average this and Days-on-the-Market that.

However, I know there are a few dedicated Sith Lords who like to read me so they can catch me making a mistake about the future, and I hate to see anyone want for entertainment, so I thought I’d tell you how the Summer’s going to go.

Here then are some predictions:

1) June unit volume is going to be higher than it was in 2007. Oh, alright, I cheated. This is an easy one, because June’s unit volume as of now is already higher than last year’s, and we have several days left to go. Last June 1,086 units sold all month — so far this June 1,105 units have sold.

2) The year-on-year unit volume increases for June, July, and August won’t be as high as they were for May, but they’ll be substantial — let’s say more than 25% in each month.

3) We won’t see big drops in inventory for Sacramento County for the next few months. I’m thinking we’ll stay pretty even in the Summer, and then start rising a bit in the fall. I hope I’m wrong about that and we get down to about six months by late Summer, but I don’t think it will happen.

4) Real Estate prices will continue to fall, though not as fast as at the beginning of the year.

5) Gas will reach $5.00 per gallon. Sorry.

6) Purva Brown, the Sacramento Real Estate Gal, will have a baby girl. She will be 7lbs 12 ounces at birth.

7) Hungry Parisians, tired of the Johnstradamus gag and out of bread, will riot in the streets.

Del Paso Heights and Natomas — Back In The Saddle Again

I sometimes wonder about some of the ways the Metrolist MLS describes certain areas. Let me go further. Learning Sacramento area geography through the Metrolist MLS is like learning about climate science or who attacked us on September 11, 2001 from Fox News. After a long period of head scratching you find you’ve imbibed more of a political agenda than scientific or historical fact.

For example, in some mysteriously inspired bit of geographical legerdemain, someone somewhere along the line decided to take Del Paso Heights, which everyone else seems to think is not in Natomas, but minding its own business to the east in 95838, and spread it out across all of Natomas. Or perhaps some clever geo-linguistic civil engineer decided that the levy troubles of Natomas would be less threatening if the whole area could become elevated to the (obviously) lofty Heights of Del Paso.

Thus, Metrolist MLS identified the following areas:

95833 – North Sacramento Natomas Del Paso Heights
95834 – North Sacramento Natomas Del Paso Heights
95835 – North Sacramento Natomas Del Paso Heights
95836 – North Sacramento Natomas Del Paso Heights
95837 – Sacramento International Airport & Vicinity
95838 – North Sacramento Natomas Del Paso Heights

That’s all well and good, except it’s wrong. When you try to overlay these zip codes on Sacramento County’s Maps of Natomas, and other published maps of the area by zip code, you come up with a scheme more like this:

95833- South Natomas
95834 – South Natomas
95835 – North Sacramento / North Natomas
95836 – North Natomas
95837 – Sacramento International Airport & Vicinity / North Natomas
95838 – Del Paso Heights

So there you have it. Del Paso Heights is now back in 95838, where Google places it. Four out of five of the schools in Del Paso Heights school district are in 95838; one is in 95834. Del Paso Heights Elementary is in 95838.

Do we know where we all are? Natomas? Del Paso Heights?

You’re back in the saddle again.

Woopee-Tie-Yie-Yo!

Your welcome.

Antelope Real Estate Market Update – Chicken Little Soup for the Agent’s Soul

credit: ishrona

Readers of this blog and Purva Brown’s Sacramento Real Estate Gal probably know that Purva is more of a real estate market optimist than I am. So she’s more likely to say something like this:

“Hey, you bubble blogger guys slept through the recovery!”

Sometimes I feel like such a coward, to tell you the truth, sending out a poor pregnant woman out to do the company’s rhetorical bear hunting.

On reflection, though,it’s probably not a bad thing to have a real estate company where the agents are optimists and the broker is a pessimist. While the agents are all out selling (a tough job where sometimes only optimism stands between you and despair), it’s the broker who’s supposed to be in the office fretting over getting sued.

We don’t say “pessimist” on the resume; we say “risk manager.”

What Do You Want To Prove?

Ouch, prices have come down 29.9% in Antelope, from the first quarter of 2007 to the first quarter of 2008 (sold price per square foot). The median sale price fell 26.2% during this period, from $325,000 in the first quarter of 2007 to $240,000 in the first quarter of 2008. The average home sold for $238,829 in first quarter of ’08, down 28.1% from last year’s average selling price of $331,995.

If you’re Chicken Little, of course that proves that the sky is falling.

Meantime, a group of ungrateful home buyers in Antelope — heedless of the Naderesque altruism of these tireless geniuses who selflessly risk their anonymous reputations by toiling at their keyboards to warn buyers about the dangers of home ownership — these ungrateful buyers, I say, have refused to do the sensible thing and stay home and duck the falling pieces of Sacramento’s market.

In Antelope, in the first quarter of 2008, unit volume was up 44.5% from last year.

Damn it, ungwateful buyers. Wun away! Wun away!

Chicken Little was on such a winning streak last year in Antelope. Unit volume was down to 110 units for the first quarter of 2007. By August of last year, inventory in Antelope had topped twelve months.

Following the sell-off in the first quarter, we’re now looking at inventory numbers of 7.1 months.

Ingwates, that’s what you are.

Chicken Little FAQ

Q. How can you tell if Chicken Little is on your blog?
A. Your delete key finger is getting tired.

Q. What’s the difference between Ralph Nader and Chicken Little?
A. Ralph Nader has a job, and some people voted for him for President.

Q. Why does Chicken little tell you not to buy when prices are falling?
A. Because the bubble is bursting.

Q. Why does Chicken little tell you not to buy when prices are rising?
A. Because the bubble is going to burst.

Q. How do you make Chicken Little Soup?
A. Put Chicken Little in a pot. Boil vigorously. Then go out for Chinese.

What’s the Emotional Aspect of Home Buying?

Oh boy! Hold on to your hats. Buying a home is probably one of the most exciting and emotionally draining things you will ever do in your life. In my experience there are three types of home buyers:

1. The Fear Before the Process Starts Kind – This group of people feels an intense grip of fear/anxiety/dread when they first realize they are buying a house. They might walk around in a kind of stupor, bump into things and walls, and want to skip meals because their stomach is queasy. Then, they get over it and sail calmly through the home buying process. Their Realtors love them because they never show any worry or give them trouble calling incessantly. Their Realtors also wonder if they’re human, not having met them in the days these buyers refused to eat, got dark circles under their eyes and walked right out into traffic, scaring everyone around them.

2. The Anxious Home Buyer that Might not Make It – This is the worst group to belong to, so if you’re here, consider yourself warned: I will know you belong here. This is the home buyer who just cannot let go of her anxiety long enough to come into possession of a house. The home inspector almost gives up on her, the termite company swears they will never deal with her again and the Realtor is seeing red because this client has dragged her out of bed early on Sunday mornings and just when she is almost in escrow every calamity on earth has hit to help the cancelation of escrow. This home buyer might just not make it to the final signing and might not ever buy a home, so if you do see yourself here, ask yourself why you are buying a house or wanting to buy one. The answer might surprise you.

3. The Home Buyer’s Remorse Club – This is probably the largest community out there, so if you find yourself in the middle of an escrow wondering if you’re doing the right thing, or lying in your new bedroom of the house you just bought heart palpitating wildly, be reassured you’re in good company. Almost every home buyer claims to have some buyer’s remorse about spending too much, buying in the wrong neighborhood, and so on. Usually they get over it by the time of the housewarming and live happily ever after.

So which kind of home buyer are you? The group you fall into should give you a pretty good idea of how stressful this process will be for you!

I’m Back!

Yes, I’ve been sick. No, I don’t hate the Sacramento real estate market.

While I was gone, I wrote an offer, got into escrow, celebrated, realized we weren’t in escrow when the listing agent called and said the asset manager had changed his mind about our offer, tracked down the deposit check, sent it back, felt very bad for my client, showed about ten homes to another client, wrote about five offers more, and worried about having infected my new client with the flu I had. (Although I really, truly was past it then.) Whew!

So what’s new here at Sacramento-Home? We are hearing from more investors and home buyers. Relocation buyers have been our specialty and we’re I think beginning to see them more and more now that it’s spring.

There are some incredible buys out there for people with 20% down. So let’s head out and shop! I have about 16 weeks left before the baby gets here. The countdown has begun!

Sacramento Historian to Speak About Capitol Mall

If you’re interested in the history of development downtown in Sacramento, you may enjoy attending a presentation tonight (Wednesday, April 2nd) that’s being given as part of the Sacramento Preservation Commission Meeting.

William Burg, author of the Sacramento History Blog, will be giving the presentation at the Council Chambers, New City Hall, 915 I Street, First Floor. The agenda for the meeting is here.

Sacramento Real Estate Market Recovers

I was just running the early numbers for March, and I’m happy to report that the Sacramento real estate market has fully recovered and has returned to the exuberance of 2004. The recovery started early in the month and was complete by March 17th.

Early in March, major lenders announced that they would once again be making many creative loan products available. John Stumpf, Wells Fargo chief executive, said his company intended to lead the market in this area by offering loans at up to 107% of the purchase price for qualified borrowers. When an aide brought the news to Countrywide CEO Angelo R. Mozilo, Mozilo quickly drafted a plan to provide loans at up to 109% of the purchase price for full doc loans, and 107% for stated income.

Countrywide is now offering two programs with these limits. The first is a traditional option-ARM, with one of the options being a negative amortization option. The second program is a new “negative amortization only” product, which is only available on the stated income loans.

With the new financing in place, buyers quickly realized the market had turned and shopped their way through the remaining inventory. After they bought the 3,411 available bank owned properties in El Dorado, Sacramento, and Placer County, they pre-ordered the next four months of bank owned inventory. A single investment group from Palo Alto accounted for over half these purchases.

With bank owned properties no longer available, buyers then quickly bid up the available traditional sales. Because of the rising prices and the availability of CountryWide’s innovative 120% HELOC, sellers offering short sales were able to refinance their homes and offer them on the market as usual.

With the short sales and foreclosures out of the way, prices quickly rose 23.9% on average, so prices in most areas are now at early 2007 levels. By July we expect to have prices above where they were in 2004.

Are Real Estate Lead Companies Outsourcing Now?

There’s only one thing more irritating to me than telemarketers – it’s telemarketers from halfway around the world. Oh wait, there’s one more thing even more annoying – it’s when they harrass me by calling two or three more times after I have said, “Not interested, thanks,” basically the least amount of talking I can do to avoid eating up my minutes, which would essentially mean paying for telemarketers to tear into my day and irritate me.

And when did it become okay to flagrantly dismiss the Do not Call Registry? Suddenly, every lead generation company with leads to sell has found me on Active Rain and wants to call me – without any idea of how to read a script to make it seem like he’s actually talking – and sell me something!

Puh-leeze. Leave me alone. We don’t have “a business relationship.”

And I will report you to the registry. In fact, I just did. I don’t care if you live halfway around the world. If you’re calling a US number and selling to a US person, you better obey the laws.

Sacramento Awaits the Mothership

This post was originally titled “Off Topic — Politics — Is America Ready for Another Clinton White House?”

But the truth is, that title was just an excuse to answer “I say yes. Especially if it’s George Clinton!”

But Wait, This Is On Topic After All

It turns out that everything ends up being about Sacramento. Dawn Silva, who (if Wikipedia is to be trusted) sang for Sly and The Family Stone before joining George Clinton’s PFunk in 1977, hails originally from Sacramento — and that’s what listed as her location on her MySpace page. “She was the only original Brides of Funkenstein member to continue through Brides’ career.”

Her MySpace page makes me wonder how I ever could have doubted MySpace. That place is fantastic, as of today.

Hyperlink that funky music, white boy! No greater HTML hath any man.

Sacramento Real Estate Blog Gets a Needed Facelift

Heavy maked up tanned girl exploring her face to go the plastic surgery Over the weekend The Sacramento Real Estate Blog had a bit of a facelift.

Our old blog theme was ok, but it was looking a little long in the tooth and out of style. Like everyone else, bloggers are slaves to fashion, and I was really starting to get tired of the three column layout — it was like wearing a wide tie when fat ties are back in vogue.

By the way, what kind of tie should I be wearing these days, if I wore one?

If you’re looking for Armani suit Realtors®, I’m afraid we don’t have any.

Things Should Be a Bit Easier To Find, I Hope

One of the things I like about the new layout is that it removes the huge number of links we had to everything under the sun. Those links are still available from the web site.

Overall I think it’s a lot cleaner. I hope you like it.

Does this dress make me look fat?

AdSense Ads, What’s Up With That?

One of the other things you may have noticed is that we’ve started putting up a few ads from AdSense. In a few days we’ll probably also start serving some Project Wonderful ads as well.

We expect the revenue from these ads to be extremely low compared to the revenue from our main business of helping our clients buy and sell homes in greater Sacramento. Nevertheless, it’s a way to help offset the expense of maintaining our MLS feeds and other costs. So with that let me welcome our current and future sponsors, whom I hope you’ll support. If it gets to be too much of a distraction, I’ll take it down.

The green-eyed facelift lady stays up, however.

Some distractions are better than others.

Congratulations to Purva Brown

Internet Mogul. Sacramento Real Estate Gal. Sacramento-Home.com co-author. And now mother to be!

Given how nice this child looks already, we expect a full photo shoot when the happy day comes.

Thinking Blogger Award

Wow. Hard on the heels of Inman’s nomination as one of the real estate blogosphere’s five least influential bloggers (no — I made that up — the truth is they never heard of me), Kathy T. over at Shak and Jill was nice enough to present Purva and I with our very own Thinking Blogger Award.

See, you thought we were just another C-list collection of market updates, but NOOOO, it turns out we’re actually “whimsical, informative, funny, and interesting.”

I should put that in bolder print so those of you who don’t read me can not see it.

That sure beats our last review, which accused us of being “uninformed, carcinogenic, dimwitted and fascist.”

No, I made that up, too. Inman never heard of me. Really.

Anyway, that’s the good news. The bad news is that there’s a bit of a chain letter aspect to the award — or at least, a sort of obligation to pass it on. I don’t usually go for that sort of thing, but today I was whining about that brick Inman threw at my window (no seriously, they didn’t), and Purva said “Well, gee, you depressed, egomaniacal dullard, at least you won the thinking blogger award!”

So today I have to come up with five blogs that have made me think and pass the award along, otherwise I break the chain and a Voodoo practitioner from the Dominican Republic will come after me with small animal bones and the blood of a chicken.

So without further ado, five blogs that have made me think. And remember you winners, you have to acknowledge this post and pass it along! Well, no, really you don’t have to do anything, but it’d be cool if you did.

Problogger
Yeah, I know, everyone links to Problogger, but that’s because his work is really, really good. If you want to improve your blog, the ideas he presents are a must read.

The Great Seduction
On the opposite scale of the popularity contest from Darren Rowse is the Web 2.0 critic, Andrew Keene. You might say that John Lockwood is to RE.net as Andrew Keene is to Web 2.0 in general. It’s not that he’s my Luddite hero or anything, but I do sense a bit of kindred spirit.

Sacramento Real Estate Gal
I don’t know if it’s cheating or not to mention Purva, since she’s an author here, but what the heck. In addition to her important role as my co-author and only friend, it’s a pleasure to enjoy her clarity of thought and optimism for real estate. She also really helps out the recruiting cause by saying nice things about the company — and it’s always good to be appreciated.

The Real Estate Blog Lab
So many of what pass for “real estate technology” blogs strike me as cheerleader pieces for gadgets I could care less about. “It’s a lockbox key AND an MP3 player”. Sorry, don’t need one. Dave Smith’s Real Estate Blog Lab is different. It really is a lab — a sort of WordPress user’s journal that makes a fascinating ongoing experiment in blogging techniques.

The Housechick Blog
It seems to me that Kelly Koehler is one of the few people who has mastered the art of writing a real estate blog that her real estate customers would find interesting and informative. This blog successfully blends the local with the universal. Plus, how can you not like someone who calls herself the Housechick?

It’s Leap Year Day Eve — Can You Feel The Excitement?

I know I can.

Leap years only happen once every four years. But of course you knew that.

I plan on making the most of this one.

You should, too.

We should all have a great February 29th, because if we blow it, we won’t get another February 29th until 2012. So all the stuff we could have done will just have to wait.

I’m trying to be proactive here.

In honor of leap year day, I’m going to make a stupid announcement tomorrow. It will be on my Roseville Blog, since I don’t want to be any more stupid here on this blog than I have to be, especially not on a high holy day like leap year day.

Now I hope all good children will go to bed early tonight so Santa Calendar will come.

With visions of chronitons dancing in your head.

The Ten Dollar Hat, the Five Cent Head, and the Voicemail They Rode In On

phonesmash The other day I was out showing property and ran into an agent wearing a ten dollar hat on a nickel head.

I was having a problem showing this one listing. Every so often you meet a lock that doesn’t work or a similar problem that prevents you from getting inside the house. In this case there was a key for the deadbolt, but the doorknob lock was keyed differently, was locked, and there was no key to the doorknob lock.

So I called the agent, who I’ll call Tami Talksalot, and got a sort of voicemail Homeric epic that went something like:

“Thank you for calling the Tami Talksalot Team, your personal real estate consultant for life. Since 95% of our business comes from referrals blah blah blah. Please leave your name, phone number, and a detailed description of your problem so we can be fully prepared before calling you back. If you were referred to us blah blah blah please leave the name of the person who referred you so we can call and punish them with this epic voicemail too blah blah blah.”

It looks a lot shorter in print. I’m sure there was more to it, like what color shirt Tami Talksalot was wearing and something about providing my cat with outstanding customer service, but after a few minutes waiting to tell my personal real estate consultant for life that I couldn’t show her property because 95% of my business comes from people who could actually get inside the house they wanted to buy, I got pretty tired.

I got a call back twenty-four hours later after my buyers and I had long since left the area by an assistant on the Tami Talksalot team, Peggy-Sue Getaclue, who asked if I was able to get inside the house.

I missed an opportunity there. I should have told her I was still listening to the voicemail announcement.

Live and learn.

I’m still waiting to hear back that the house can be shown. But I’m not holding my breath.

How To Ruin Your Credit And End Up In Foreclosure in Ten Easy Steps

I’ve been thinking about all the news about foreclosures. I work here in the greater Sacramento area. Though I live in El Dorado County, which (along with Placer County) has experienced relatively few foreclosures, Sacramento County currently has more than fifty per-cent short sales and foreclosures in inventory. Now granted, that’s not necessarily a huge number compared to all the homes in the area, since obviously being in financial trouble triggers a sale — most folks who own homes aren’t in foreclosure, and aren’t selling at any given time. Still, it’s enough to get my attention.

A caricature of Realtors® is that we’re always pushing home ownership on unsuspecting victims. I think the general consensus lies somewhere between the idea that we have hypnotic powers of persuasion to lure our victims into contracts they don’t want (much like the famous Hypnotoad, shown at right) or — less charitably — that we hit people over the head with shovels to get them into our cars, then take it from there.

Those Educated Internet Buyers – What’s a Poor Hypnotoad to Do?

Unfortunately, your standard Jedi / Hypnotoad mind tricks only work on the weak minded. Most people I meet here on the Internet have too many information resources at their disposal to be an easy mark for these unscrupulous amphibians. That’s probably why none of my buyers has (to my knowledge) ended up in foreclosure yet.

Still, there may be some of you out there who are just itching to do it, so for those of you with a real hankering to financially self destruct, here are . . .

Ten Easy Steps to Foreclosure

State your income.
You may have heard that stated income loans are for the self-employed. Don’t you believe it! Full doc loans are harder to do so your lender doesn’t like them, and I know you want things to go smoothly for your lender out of gratitude for the wonderful loan he’s getting you, right? And you don’t mind paying the extra half point or so to go stated, do you? While you’re at it, forget about the fact that overstating your income is loan fraud, a federal crime. A smart buyer like you isn’t afraid of some wimps at the FBI, are you? The more you say you make, the nicer house you can get. That’s why they call them “liars’ loans”, after all.
Don’t Pay To Run Your Own Credit – Your Lender Will Do It FREE!
Here’s the thing. If you run your own credit, you might conceivably talk one or more loan officers into checking into different loan programs for you. That’s not good. This might educate you as a consumer, and you might find eventually bump into a lender who’ll explain things to you. Learning is the first step on the road to making stupid loan payments on a conservative loan package. How are you going to get foreclosed on if you make loan payments? Huh? Plus, running your own credit doesn’t count as an inquiry, and your loan officer is counting on you worrying about making multiple inquiries, so letting them do it free for you locks you in quite nicely, doesn’t it? So stay away from sites like MyFico.com. I’m not even going to link to them because you’ll only end up running your credit and getting confused.
If your lender tells you you can afford the house, you can afford the house.
Although most knowledgeable foreclosure-philes generally frown on talking to more than one lender because one or more of them might turn out to be ethical, one thing you should do is get as many opinions as you can about how much house you can afford, and go with the highest amount. You’ll get a much nicer house that way. If someone in your family has a calculator or spreadsheet or other budgeting tool and suggests a lower amount, you should argue with her until you get the most house that that nice lender said you could. In fact, you should probably be looking at homes that cost more than that, because you can always talk the seller down. And maybe you’ll see something you like even better that way.
Always remember: your lender can refinance you later.
Remember, the market’s going up! Up! Up! Sure, it’s going down now, but it’s going up in a few minutes. (I think I heard it’ll be fine by Wednesday.) The reason you don’t need to figure out a conservative loan that you can live with is that the market’s going up, and if you refinance later you can buy more house now! Wasn’t it nice of that nice lender to tell you that you could refinance later? He must really be trying to help you by offering to do that extra loan for you. That stupid lender who said you could afford less house was only going to do one loan, and didn’t even offer to refinance you later. He must just be lazy.
Refinance early, refinance often.
Now that you have a really killer house, do you really still want to be seen driving that old broken down car of yours? You have this great big garage, and all you’ve got to show for it is a five year old import. You have some equity now. Don’t you deserve a Hummer? Besides, your equity’s not doing you any good unless you put it to use. You’ve already by now picked out a hard working lender who generously doesn’t mind refinancing you, so go for the gusto! You only live once.
Remember, the market will go UP!
And of course, it’ll go up just in time! So you don’t need a conservative loan. In fact, come to think of it, hopefully you bought when the market was going up. You don’t want to buy when prices are low, because good heavens, they may get lower (and what would your friends say to that). Plus, if the market’s going down, the best way to pay for your house is with some kind of boring loan, and you won’t be able to refinance or get yourself a Hummer. If you learn how to get foreclosed on, you can buy high when homes are popular, and then you won’t have to sell low, because the nice people at the bank will sell it for you.
If you can afford the lowest payment, you can afford the house.
One of the great financial instruments of the twentieth century was the Option Arm, or “Pick-a-Pay” loan. You may have heard that they’re appropriate for the self employed too, or for people whose cash flow varies. But you’re not going to believe that either, are you? (See “State Your Income”). With a pick-a-pay loan, you get to pay either a lot of money on the loan, or just a little bit of money on the loan. You’re not going to be a chump and pick the fully amortized 15 or 30-year fixed payment, are you? That payment will be huge! You won’t be able to buy as much house that way! You might have to settle for a lousy older home or condo or rent for a few more years while you save. Through the miracle of Negative Amortization, you can own the big brand new mansion you really want now!
Never mind what negative amortization means.
You don’t need to know what negative amortization means. “Negative” and “mort” — anything that sounds THAT depressing isn’t something an upbeat mansion-owner like you should spend time on. You shouldn’t worry about it anyway, because the amount of negative amortization on the loan is limited, and you’ll still have the loan when you hit the limit. I want you all to stop worrying about negative amortization right now, and never, ever, ever, look it up. Also while you’re not looking things up, don’t look up what happens when you hit the limit.
The best thing to do with a document you don’t understand is sign it.
The quicker you sign, the quicker you’ll get the keys to your new house! Do you want to move in and throw a party for your friends, or do you want to waste your life reading and asking philosophical questions?
While we’re on the subject of reading…
There are books on Amazon.com and lots of great consumer web sites that talk about loan programs, managing money, etc., but hopefully by now you’ve learned enough about ruining your credit to avoid all that highbrow academic stuff and get down to the real fun of shopping for the absolute most house you can afford, with a big garage for your new SUV! Besides, reading makes you sleepy.

(This shouldn’t be necessary, but here it is: You should be afraid of the FBI, and loan fraud is a serious crime. This article is meant to be humorous and tongue in cheek only, and instructive only in a reverse-psychology sort of way).

Winter Projects can Brighten your Day!

Winter is not the time when most people get charged up about wanting to remodel. But in my family the day after Christmas is traditionally the time we use to plan and begin a new project. Ideally, you wouldn’t want to build a new roof then, but inside projects like replacing the wall heater, or painting seems just right. For one, it chases the winter doldrums, for another it helps brighten the room (if you choose the right colors) and your outlook.

So this winter we’re planning on transforming the fixer-upper part of our house in Pollock Pines. We bought it cheap because the top half was beautifully remodeled and the ground floor was not. It has wood paneling and is very depressing. Now that we have an extra set of hands with family, it should be pretty fun. I will post pics as soon as I get them!

And in case you have wood paneling on your walls and you want to update it, have you thought about just painting it? Read about it here.

The End of The Year As We Know It

Wow, look at that, it’s December already. No wonder the sun isn’t out.

With the end of the year upon is, it’s time for holiday parties and closing out the accounting season, and Elite Properties is no exception. At the end of the week we’re getting together for our Christmas Party dinner at the home of the agent who’s arguably our company’s best cook, Vicki Agregado-Babcock.

Since it’s also time for closing out the accounting season, today I learned that our company’s best cook is also the company’s top producing agent for the year, so congratulations to Vicki for being ahead of the curve!

I was somewhat chagrined to learn that I came in only in second place for total sales volume. But I don’t mind too much because as the broker I can make up whatever awards I want, so I think there’s a good chance I’m a shoe-in for broker of the year.

If all else fails, I’m also the tallest.

See, kids, listen to your mom. Eating your vegetables really works.

If you’re Looking for Something Special this Christmas…

…for your home, that is. Consider these three fantastic finds for your bathroom:

A freehander shower: Especially if you’re one of those tall people that have the shower hit you in the face everytime or you’re so short, you can’t reach the shower head to adjust it. Makes the bathroom look very high-end as well and might make a good resale price for your house!

Ambient Rain: For those days when you really just want to shower in the rain, but it’s, say, 110 degrees outside.

A bronze sink: In bowl form or built in. Gives the bathroom a very special look. But be sure to decorate around these items and remove the clutter.

Everyone knows bathrooms sell homes. Consider these finds investments into the future value of your house!

Yes, It’s That Time Again!

John should be posting statistics for resales in Sacramento soon. I’m learning it’s tough to try and keep up posting to the blog(s), writing an e-book, getting mailers out to my clients for Christmas and managing an escrow. Huh! That would explain why the days seem to be shorter. No wait. They really are.

And while we’re upset with other people not doing their jobs, let me just throw in a certain title company that cannot seem to provide a Natural Hazard Disclosure for almost a week and a half after I’ve requested it. (It took them one week to get me a preliminary title report!) And all my calls have been of no avail. Today is day 17 when we’re supposed to remove contingencies! I guess we’re all in a holiday mood!

Add to that the software for our transaction not working – or better yet, not letting me into it – and we have the best of all worlds: a —— — Realtor with too much to do!!!!! (Add your own expletives. I’m okay with any of them, really.)

Thank your Realtor Weekend Begins!

While everyone else is bemoaning the housing market and saying how terrible their loans are, I’m introducing a thank your Realtor weekend for those of you that have made good purchases over the years with Realtors who did not put you in a house you couldn’t afford, or mortgage brokers who didn’t sell you loans that they knew would blow up in your face in a few years.

This Thanksgiving, I think it’s important to remember that there are some of us who are concerned about our clients, their needs, and not just about getting paid. Some of us are truly here to help you find the right home for your needs and really listen.

Be sure to thank those honest professionals this weekend. (And the best way to thank someone is to send them a referral.)

And have a very happy Thanksgiving!

Watching “Closing Escrow: A Comedy about Real Estate”

Much against the wishes of my husband, who probably hears more about real estate and Realtors than he would rather, we watched this movie. The trailer seemed funny, so I got my hands on it last weekend at Amazon.

If you’ve had any experience buying a house with a Realtor, you might not find it funny. We come out amazingly normal and sane after anyone watches this movie. But if you are a Realtor or have experience working with one, this might provide some comic relief. I think this movie might be funnier for Realtors than their clients.

But then again, any movie that makes us look sane is worth watching.